As children we used to make things in a wax, called Glitterwax. The idea was to take time in softening it in our warm hands, then fashion delicate ornaments like flower petals. Later our creations could be used again to make something even better, but the wax had to go through the same softening process first, otherwise the hard petals would just break into tiny pieces.
I want to remain soft and pliable. What I often call being soft in the heart and hard in the head! Hopefully I’ve come to recognize the signs of starting to become brittle, like being intolerant, snappy or controlling for example. You could say that in trying circumstances this is excusable, but Continue reading
Speaking with someone with chronic fatigue, the other day, made me think. She said she had accepted the illness and this brought peace inside. A fact that I readily agree with.
Accepting that we have an illness is absolutely key to moving on and allowing God’s healing to take place. I struggled with this for a long time. I just loathed what was happening to me and I complained a lot. I was being real and had to work through all the feelings, including anger that were boiling inside me. Through this expression, I did eventually come to the place of acceptance. The way I would put it, is that I yielded to Father God in the situation.
However, that’s not the whole story. Acceptance is not the same as resignation. Resignation can be saying something like, “This is my lot,” a sort of powerful sentence spoken over you. I didn’t believe that God wanted me to stay as I was, but I knew healing had to start with acceptance and surrender. That to me seemed like taking an enormous risk. What if God does not do anything? But that is like saying that I don’t trust God!
Resignation can have deep roots in our lives. Despite having parents that did all they could for me, there was a lack of emotional and physical bonding. The childhood needs for affection to be demonstrated to the degree that I needed, just were not there. At some stage I must have said to myself, “This is as good as it gets,” and I buried the emotional pain, covered it over and got on with my life, compensating for the lack, in whatever way I could.
It was only after I came into the knowledge and experience of God’s love that I allowed these feelings to surface and found freedom. This involved a changed mindset. So far as the illness was concerned, I was not going to take it lying down. I wanted to live life to the full, but surrender meant something in me had to die. So acceptance brought hope, expectation and the healing journey to commence. From a worldly viewpoint that’s a paradox.